Support for Parents of Teens

As children transition into adolescence, parents often wonder about the new person that has moved into their house to replace the baby that was so dependent on them only a short time ago. Parents will naturally worry about the physical safety of their teenager as they seek to spend less time around the family and look to explore their expanding horizons, their world has suddenly become larger.

Parents will also be aware of at least some of the issues that impact our children through the teenage years. Common themes include phone and app usage, bullying, transition into secondary school, sexuality, relationships, substances and their abuse, and anxiety around these various topics.

Teenagers are embarking on a journey towards independence. While legally they become an adult at 18, it makes no sense to consider them automatically an adult from midnight on their birthday, rather they are acquiring knowledge and experience throughout their developing years and indeed, well beyond that threshold. This desire to experience may lead them to try things that bring them into conflict with their parents.

The typical teenage push for autonomy can easily be misinterpreted as a total rejection of family values, sparking a painful fear, in the parent, of permanent estrangement or resentment. Parents often project their own past insecurities onto their teens, agonizing over whether their child will fit in, make the wrong friends, or repeat the mistakes of their parents.

Despite how it may feel or look, parents remain a vital part of their children’s lives. Understanding (or maybe remembering) how it feels to be a teenager can help us to provide a safe haven for our children as they ride through the rough seas of their teenage years.

Parental coaching is about understanding the concerns that parents have and try and distinguish normal developmental boundaries from genuine red flags. It is about understanding the needs of the teenager, e.g. independence versus nurturing. It is about appropriate communication and appropriate boundaries.

I’d love to chat further on this if you feel it might be beneficial to you and your family.